Empty hearts

Over the last two days I have heard stories from one of the community stars in my group that have broken my heart. On Tuesday, Clifford told us that a year ago he had major operation on his kidneys which were damaged because of excess drinking. He’s 22. While in hospital, none of his 4 sisters, 7 brothers, or mother came to visit him. The family of the guy in the next bed visited him instead, which he said was worse, “I don’t want someone else’s family visiting me I want my own.” When he was released from hospital nobody came to collect him and he made his own way home in a taxi. A taxi here means a dirty, crowded mini-bus with loud music and manic driving. When I asked about his family he said that all 12 sibling live at home but live separately…if you get killed that was your own doing.
Then yesterday while we were in Life Skills, Avril drew attention to Clifford’s negative attitude, to which he answered “There’s nothing positive in Helenvale.” Avril pointed out how sitting in this classroom, in Bayview Primary is a positive thing, and how his decision to step away from the gang existence of his street and make the decision to some to Ready for Life everyone morning was already a huge achievement. The more we pointed out the positives in his behaviour and decisions, the more uncomfortable he looked. When I expressed how proud and impressed the international volunteers are with him he was squirming in his chair and looked at his hands. I told him I felt he was not used to hearing positive things about himself, and when he looked up at me the expression in his eyes told me he never had. Until this week when we arrived no one had ever encouraged him or told him they were proud, he had never heard he was doing a good job, or that people describe him as the guy who’s always smiling. In 22 years. It broke my heart. It breaks my heart to write it now. And that’s only one guy. To magnify that to a community is to have some idea of the depth of the issues faced in Helenvale. Help is needed here and it was worth everything to get here.

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